"I didn't mean it as a put down or anything, it's just I somehow thought you had a lot of experience." She looked pretty apologetic."Aw, shit, Johanna." I sighed. "It's okay, but I just feel really lame about it. Like I'm a retard or something." Wow." She sat and thought while I did the escape into the bowl thing again. "I didn't mean anything bad." I mumbled 'It'sokay' though my mouthful. "I didn't mean to embarrass you about it." I shrugged, and she went on, "As a matter of fact, I guess I just assumed you weren't because you been so cool and all with me and Kathy, and then being so cool about letting Kathy, uh, you know." I swallowed."I know what you're trying to say, so don't strain yourself trying to use 'nice' words. Kathy and I can talk to each other because we both can be potty mouths and it's okay for you to use the dirty words, Johanna. If you can get comfortable with talking to me using them; good, Or just think of me as being Kathy with a deeper voice and a different. See through me... they can tell what I am thinking. You eyes are a magical mystery of my inner world. Whether you are happy, sad, angry or tired...your eyes have a mind of their own...they always look sharp...they always look darker than charcoal and so intense. This is now... but then...then...You are sitting in front of me. It's our first date. You look troubled. As we talk about our lifes, you go on and on about your ex. She hurt you... I can see it ...I can feel it. Somehow those eyes of yours communicate the pain really well. I feel my heart tighten as I realize the amount of care you feel towards her. You smile back at me...but I can tell it's a polite forced smile. Deep inside you feel pain...and your broken heart is still bruised. I have never been dumped before...but I have been rejected. I can relate. I know what it's like. You are so innocent, so genuine, it makes my heart ache when I think of anyone hurting you. I want to take that pain away. You dont say it outloud, but I.
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